Princess
by Zwip
Summary: [It seemed he’d been in this position a lot lately, carting an unconscious Watanuki around.] Total fluff. And just guess the pairing.


Disclaimer: You know and I know that I do not own Holic or any of its characters.

This is the first time I've written a fanfiction so please be kind. Also, everyone's half-loopy and out of character. Sorry about that. Also, I apologize that it's so long with pretty much nothing happening.  
...

Doumeki looked down at the unknowing bundle of idiot at his feet and picked him up, sighing inwardly. It seemed he'd been in this position a lot lately, carting an unconscious Watanuki around. It was awkward, but he didn't mind. Much.

Of course, this was all Yuuko's fault (_it's always Yuuko's fault_, he thought, not particularly heatedly). She'd invited him to come eat in the park with Watanuki, calling it payment for a recent job, though Doumeki figured he'd end having to pay for his share of food anyway. He also figured that even though she'd said, "eat," she really meant, "drink alcohol until you've achieved temporary blindness." So Doumeki also figured that he'd end up paying something for his share of alcohol as well.

Even though it wasn't really in Watanuki's nature to drink a lot, Yuuko had prodded and teased him into it. Of course, once he'd decided to drink, he'd had to make it into a competition. Not with Yuuko (she could probably drink _anyone_ under the table), but with Doumeki. As usual, it was a one-sided battle and Watanuki was therefore doomed to lose it, and, being incapable of holding his liquor, he passed out, and that's how Doumeki had gotten into his current predicament.

He could have made Yuuko take him back to her shop, but he'd guessed that would incur a deduction from Watanuki's paycheck and therefore invoke his wrath. His wrath included the very real possibility of eardrum damage, and Doumeki didn't really feel like dealing with that. The longer he could go without agitating him, the better.

He was pulled from his silent reverie at Watanuki's door. He'd never admit to knowing so well where the boy lived that he could find it without thinking. He set his precious cargo down, propping him up against a wall next to the door. Now he needed a key, seeing as there was no hope that the paranoid boy left his door unlocked. Doumeki didn't really feel too much like digging around in Watanuki's pockets, so he decided to look for a spare. It was only logical that he'd have one somewhere, as whatever was on his person or in his school bag was subject to the possibility of being eaten by something nefarious.

He started by looking under the doormat (of course he had one, would anyone be permitted to enter with shoes that weren't entirely clean, even if they were going to take them off as soon as they got inside?). He didn't believe that Watanuki would keep one in such an obvious place, but he didn't have any better ideas and it was worth a try.

Surprisingly, the key was there. Irritatingly, it was accompanied by a note. Immediately, Doumeki knew who the note was from and picked it up with the key, grudgingly opening up the folded paper as if it would burn him. There was a possibility it might, considering who put it there.

_Hellooo, Doumeki-kuuuun!_

He was irritated even further, but kept on reading.

_ I took the liberty of putting the spare here for you._

_You'd never have found it on your own otherwise,_

_it was actually _inside_ Watanuki's apartment._

_Can you believe that? Our Watanuki-chan is so_

_paranoid!_

Doumeki glanced fleetingly at the slight figure slumped against the wall and silently agreed. But Watanuki… chan? He didn't even bother wondering about how _she'd_ gotten the key or even known where it was. It all fell under the umbrella of the statement, "She has her ways."

_Don't worry about this little… favor._

She'd seriously put an ellipse into a letter?

_The payment has already been deducted from _

_Watanuki-chan's paycheck._

Oh. _Shit_. Watanuki-chan again, eh? He glanced again at the form that was now sliding down the wall. It didn't fit his face.

_Yuuko._

Her elegant signature was preceded by another sort of signature, a small picture of a butterfly. He grimaced at it as if it could pass on his distaste to Yuuko, and for all he knew, it probably could. He turned over the note, looking for other things to fret about, and wasn't really surprised to find some. Well, one.

_P.S. Know any fairytales?_

He could imagine her nearly-habitual smirk at this sentence, silently mocking him for not comprehending why he would need to know any children's stories. With that rather unpleasant image lingering on his mind, he unceremoniously shoved the note into his pocket and unlocked the door, opening it wide and thinking it would stay open for him so he could transport Watanuki in easily. Apparently, the door had other plans. Just as he was turning around to get Watanuki it smacked him loudly.

Ah. So it was one of _those_ doors. Doumeki knew them well; they were the type to close automatically unless something was there to stop them, this fact having been demonstrated on a now very weary Doumeki. Wedging a foot in between the door frame and the devious door, he carefully picked up the still-unconscious Watanuki, marveling at how light he was. It seemed unhealthy, really, and unlikely as well. He was so very good at cooking but didn't eat a lot. Oh, wait. As an image of Yuuko, cackling evilly, entered his head, he suddenly understood why.

A few minutes and a thousand awkward positions later (one of which had Watanuki balanced on his knee so Doumeki could pull his shoes off) Doumeki toed off his own shoes and left them obtrusively by the door. Well, no one should be trying to get to Watanuki this late, anyway, so he didn't really feel bad about it. True to its nature, the door had shut as soon as Doumeki was out of its way, enveloping him in the darkness and silence of Watanuki's apartment.

He flicked on the light to see a small and dismal place to live. He could almost taste the isolation and found himself, not for the first time, pitying the poor boy. It was then that Doumeki decided to stop gaping and let Watanuki sleep in his own bed instead of his arms all night. _Sleeping in my arms all night, eh?_ He shook his head mentally, attempting to clear out the strange thoughts and forget about how much he'd liked the idea of that statement. He tried instead to focus on finding Watanuki's bedroom and drowning out the little voice in his head that piped up when he thought about it.

It didn't take long for him to find it (the apartment was smaller than he'd originally thought) and he realized the he'd have to unroll the futon. Carefully placing the bundle of joy down by the door, he located the futon and proceeded to prepare it for a sleeping Watanuki. He'd imagined that this whole process of bringing the spastic boy home would be much simpler, but he didn't mind too much. He had the patience of a kindergarten teacher (and often felt like one when it came to Watanuki, but he felt a lot when it came to Watanuki and was now going to stop that train of thought in its tracks).

He then dragged the unnervingly silent boy to his futon and stared for a bit, wondering why he felt that he'd missed something.

Oh. Right. Usually people didn't sleep in their school uniforms. Doumeki blinked a few extra times, which was the equivalent of a beet-red flush on any normal person. Well, it wasn't a problem. He'd just take off the shirt on top and leave on the undershirt and the pants, though the voice in his head told him to do otherwise (much, much otherwise) and he told it rather impolitely to shove off.

Once Watanuki's shirt was off (and Doumeki had gotten the voice in his head to shut up) he pulled the sheets up over him, hands lingering after they were up to his shoulders. He was decidedly _not_ staring at the pale skin of the other boy's neck. It also didn't look soft and he definitely did not feel the urge to see how soft it really was.

He leaned down to inspect Watanuki's face. Well, that's what he told himself, at least. Suddenly Yuko's words came back to him. _Fairytales, eh?_ His white features were still in slumber as they never were whilst he was awake. _Hm… Sleeping Beauty…_ Doumeki pondered on exactly how hard he'd get hit if he woke him up with a kiss like that.

Before he could get any further on that subject he heard a faint mumbling and almost backpedaled away. Almost. He only ended up drawing his face away from Watanuki's, somewhat reluctantly. Again, the slight boy was mumbling. Doumeki hadn't known he was a sleep talker, but was entirely unsurprised. In fact, he was more surprised that it had taken him this long to begin talking. And as if it were the most rational decision ever, he made up his mind to talk back.

"What was that?" He said, truly curious.

"Tell me a story."

Doumeki was finally assured that Watanuki was totally asleep. If he were even remotely awake, he'd be at least _shouting_ (if not screaming) about a "bastard ingrate" being in his house and, of all places, in his _room_. He also doubted he'd ever ask _anyone_ to tell him a story while awake. Of course, he was so _cute_ when he asked that the stoic archer's features softened. He couldn't refuse _that_. He sat on the floor next to the futon and took a deep breath.

"Okay." So this was what Yuuko had meant. "Once upon a time," he began, pondering for a time on just what exactly to tell Watanuki. He decided to just go with the story he knew best. "Once upon a time," he began again, Watanuki's face scrunching up in his sleep with minor agitation at the repetition, but it went back to looking eerily peaceful as he continued. "There was a princess. I guess you could call her pretty, maybe even venture out to beautiful. But she was mostly cute."

Watanuki giggled. "You're not very good at this, are you?"

Doumeki ignored the statement and kept on going. "She had eyes blue like… water. Deep water. A well or something, maybe." He _was_ bad at this. "Her hair was… er…" He looked out the window for inspiration and promptly found it. "Her hair was black like midnight, and her skin was white like the moon. All in all, a very pleasing girl. Slender. Good with housework, and bento too." He couldn't _quite_ keep the admiration out of his voice.

Watanuki intruded again, "Sounds like _someone_ has a little crush on our princess!" He giggled madly again, and as interesting as this facet of his personality was, Doumeki couldn't help being deeply disturbed by it.

_You have no idea._ "Because she was a princess, she always had bad people after her. Assassins and kidnappers, people like that. She was a pretty good runner, but one day a guy with a dagger got her and was about to… _hurt_ her. Thankfully, she was rescued at the last moment and the would-be assassin was banished. To, oh, I don't know, Antarctica or something."

"Rescued by a gallant prince!" Doumeki's bizarrely responsive audience called out, but he was quick to quash this claim.

"Not quite."

"Really? Then who?"

"A _witch_."

"You mean the princess is going to fall in love with a girl? A _witch_?"

"_**God**_** no!**" The idea of the "princess" marrying the "witch" was more than he could handle right now.

Watanuki raised his eyebrows, but he let him continue. "The witch took the princess to her… citadel, where she told her she could make sure that she wouldn't be bothered by all of the bad people anymore. The princess leapt desperately at this opportunity, and was therefore… in her clutches.

"The witch said that in order to make the assassins go away, she would have to work for her. The princess didn't really like this idea but there wasn't anything she could do about it and figured she'd give it a go, seeing as she had nothing better to do."

"I think I've heard this story before," Watanuki said, a bit dryly. Doumeki held back a snort.

"One day, as she was going to work at the witch's crazy place, she was ambushed. Instead of getting killed, however, she ended up being rescued."

"The witch again?" Disappointment was evident in his voice at the thought.

"Nope. This time it was-"

"A gallant prince!"

"Not quite."

"Then _what_?" Doumeki found he liked the pout the shorter boy was wearing. But the interruption was a bit annoying.

"Be patient, would you? I'm getting to that part." The archer shook his head, Watanuki really _was_ acting like a child. "She was rescued by a commoner who happened to be walking by with his bow. Seeing the beloved princess in peril, he shot all of her attackers. And instead of thanking him, the belligerent princess actually berated him for saving her."

"That's a bit rude." Doumeki found it amusing that he was being so blatantly hypocritical without knowing.

"The commoner didn't really mind, though, so he walked the princess to the witch's house to see that she was safe and left her there."

"He didn't go in?"

"Eh… he didn't really need to."

"Ah."

"The princess complained about the 'impertinent' commoner and how he had no place saving her to the witch, who just gave her a knowing smirk that could only be described as immensely irritating."

"I know that feeling," Watanuki mumbled darkly.

"Inexplicably, the commoner and the princess kept running into one another more and more often. The commoner kept saving her life. Every time the princess brought it up with the witch, she'd just ramble on about the beauty of hitsuzen or something equally frustrating with a little smile and to avoid insanity, the princess just stopped asking."

"So what did the commoner get for all of this saving?"

"Er. Nothing much, really. Leftovers and stuff." _Eardrum damage_.

"No kisses?" _Giggling like a schoolgirl again, eh?_ Doumeki looked over at him. It didn't fit his face.

"Nope."

"Our princess is a prude, isn't she?" Just what exactly had been in that alcohol? Besides, of course, alcohol?

"Anyways, the princess ended up liking the commoner. I guess. I mean, it was sort of obvious that the commoner like her all along and I guess the princess couldn't just ignore that forever."

"Really?"

"Mhmm. So the princess either fell in love with the commoner or maybe just figured he was the only one with the ability to protect her. But it wasn't like she'd ever admit that or anything. So they just continued along with their weird relationship." Doumeki fell silent, signaling the end of the story.

"Seriously? That's it? No happily ever after?" He had to give Watanuki credit for being able to be just as annoying in sleep as he could be in a fully conscious state. Except he also had to credit him for being cuter about it this way.

"Alright. So the commoner didn't really like that their relationship had plateau-d like that. So one day, walking the princess to work, he proposed to her."

"Did she say yes?"

The usually stoic boy couldn't help it, he had to chuckle. "Actually, she hit him in the face. Pretty hard. Over something about it not being romantic enough." He shrugged. "But the commoner was really persistent, so the princess decided to marry him if only to shut him up." Soft laughter was the response to this, and Doumeki couldn't help noting that he liked it much more than the delusional giggles that had preceded it. "What's so funny?"

"Eh, I know someone like that." The smaller boy smiled a bit, rolling over onto his side and curling up like a cat. _Shit_, Doumeki thought absently. _I never stood a chance, did I?_ He reached over and awkwardly patted Watanuki on the head. His hair was soft, too, and it took more effort than he liked to admit to pull his hand back.

"To marry a commoner the princess would have to give up being royalty, which she never much liked anyway. The day of the wedding came quickly and went well. No assassins or anything at all. Of course, the witch just _had_ to come to the reception to drink up the free alcohol." Doumeki shook his head a little. "She congratulated the princess on getting married and on having her wish granted, explaining that by marrying the commoner she was no longer royalty and nobody really cared about killing you if you weren't royalty."

Watanuki smiled. "A happy ending after all!"

"Of course, the bliss only lasted until the princess started screeching that the witch hadn't even really granted her wish because the commoner really did all the work and the witch just cackled and told the princess she still had debts to pay off, so the princess then complained about the possibility of working there the rest of her natural life." He paused, thinking of a conclusive statement. "And the lived in a grudgingly happy manner for a long time afterwards."

"The end." The ever-pale boy sighed happily and rolled over again falling silent for quite some time. Doumeki's attention was caught by his hand, and the voice in his head finally coerced him into taking it into his own. _No moon could compare with this skin_, the peeving voice in the archer's head threw out and although he couldn't quite disagree, it wasn't like him to have a thought so blatantly… romantic, he supposed. Even thinking the word made him twitch a little inwardly. No, romantic was for shoujo manga and the blushing girls of his fan club. Romantic was not for Doumeki Shizuka.

Still, he couldn't help at least _contemplating_ brushing his lips against that soft skin. He would never do it of course (that's what he was telling himself, but still Watanuki's hand was getting closer) but the temptation was there all the same.

He was halted by more garbled mumbling, something about, "plot like Swiss cheese." Leaning over to hear what the insane boy was saying, he caught the words, "Silly Doumeki. Didn't even give his characters proper names."

Oh. _Shit_. He hadn't thought Watanuki would know it was him if he couldn't see him, but then he figured he could tell by his "monotonous, idiotic, simply _irking_" voice. Because it was much better to think that than to think that he was actually aware and had gotten Doumeki to tell him a love story. Because if that were the case, he wouldn't hear the end of it. Either way, he didn't really want to think about it.

Now faced with the dilemma of what to do with the hand, he decided against kissing it and instead held it against his cheek for a moment before placing it back down next to Watanuki.

He got up, exiting the room quietly so as to not wake his partner-in-exorcism (_and possibly other things,_ that nagging voice supplied, and Doumeki busied himself with pretending it didn't exist). He placed the spare key on the kitchen counter for lack of a better place to put it, then realized he'd need to lock the door when he got out. He pulled on his shoes and headed out, tugging the door closed softly and locking it. Not really knowing what to do with the key, he contemplated keeping it for a moment, then decided to just place it under the doormat and hope Yuuko would do something about it.

Walking home so late in the cool night air, he turned to thinking about the story. Or rather, _his_ story. Then his thoughts wandered over to the kisses-that-never-were, and finally rested on happy endings. He smiled inwardly, it was always inwardly.

Well. He'd get his princess someday.


End file.
